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  1. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya gets used to living in Ottawa. Yuna and David help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,684
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    259
    Kudos:
    7,571
    Bookmarks:
    1,016
    Hits:
    38,771
  2. *

    Words:
    241,948
    Works:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    167
  3. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov really, really wants Shane Hollander's asshole. First they got cockblocked by a snowstorm. Then Hollander, certified anxious flower that he is, decided to play hard to get. Ilya has spent almost two years periodically texting his rival, hoping the latter will finally agree to hook up again. Ilya hopes to stumble upon the correct sexting-to-rage-baiting ratio, enough for Hollander to get over whatever mental hurdles he's having.

    And then, as luck would have it, Ilya meets Shane Hollander's ex-girlfriend Jessica. Of course, Ilya is not above playing dirty in order to achieve his goals...

    Chaos ensues, unlikely friendships are forged through general assholery, and jury's still out on who takes the crown as greatest menace of them all.
    ___

    A mostly funny, occasionally wholesome story about friends who have your back, even when they're dicks about it! Told mainly through texts and tweets.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,176
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    385
    Kudos:
    2,144
    Bookmarks:
    386
    Hits:
    25,282
  4. *

    Tags
    Summary

    After a moment, Hayden pulls back. Then he hands her the phone—Shane’s phone.

    “I grabbed this when I was getting his stuff and I saw, well.”

    He looks away from Yuna, briefly glances at David, then looks away from him too. There’s an oddly guilty look on his face that has Yuna suspicious at once.

    “Um, has Shane told you guys about Lily?”

    --

    AKA, Yuna and David find out about Lily, Shane’s... girlfriend?, while he's in the hospital. It's a while before they find out about Ilya.

    Featuring:
    - high Shane
    - Ilya angst
    - theories about who Lily could be
    - Yuna & "Lily" texting
    - identity shenanigans

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,720
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    17
    Comments:
    2,902
    Kudos:
    25,088
    Bookmarks:
    5,261
    Hits:
    304,864
  5. *

    Tags
    Summary

    After SunShane SPF50 leaves him with the worst breakout, Ilya does what any reasonable person would do: he leaves a one-star Amazon review and a complaint on Reddit demanding a refund. However, instead of a refund, he gets a reply back from the company's polite and handsome CEO Shane.

    Or: One angry Reddit post leads to Instagram stalking, horny DMs, getting stuck in a one-bed hotel room, and an Italian wedding.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,221
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    826
    Bookmarks:
    153
    Hits:
    4,464
  6. *

    Tags
    Summary

    [email protected] - Your package has been delived to your adress.

    Hayden: Hey man, I think your package had been delivered to my house? Can I open it? I'm curious.

    [opens without a reply]

    Hayden finding out about Ilya and Shane after a wrong delivery of sex toys.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,674
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    74
    Kudos:
    1,715
    Bookmarks:
    175
    Hits:
    14,466
  7. *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”

    “Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”

    Hayden stops, so Shane does too.

    “You don’t know who that was?” 

    Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer. 

    “Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious. 

    Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”

    “At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke. 

    “He’s a porn star, man.” 

    “A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?” 

    ---

    Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,214
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    1,129
    Kudos:
    37,560
    Bookmarks:
    8,475
    Hits:
    443,297
  8. 9

    Tags
    Summary

    if time travel was real, current jeon jeongguk would want to rewind back to the 2010’s and tell teenager jeon jeongguk that his adult life is going to be pretty fucking cool; he gets to play video games for a living, and his hot boyfriend is a famous fanfiction writer of his most beloved ship of all time. yoongi is cute and smart and funny and treats jeongguk like he’s the most precious being in the universe. to top it all, the two of them are disgustingly in love with each other.

    he might just be the luckiest guy alive.

    (or: jeongguk’s life would be perfect if only yoongi didn’t have to go to his fuckass office job every day)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    304
  9. *

    Tags
    Summary

    After Shane films an obscenely slutty advertisement for a sports drink company, the whole goddamn world decides he’s their new favorite sex symbol. Ilya reacts perfectly normally to this latest development.

    Or, 5 times Ilya is consumed with jealousy over his own fucking boyfriend + 1 time Shane shows him who he really belongs to.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,711
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    418
    Kudos:
    13,932
    Bookmarks:
    3,488
    Hits:
    157,793
  10. *

    Summary

    The queer NHL players (begrudgingly) unite via group chats in the face of social media scandals.

    These stories take place on a (slightly loose) chronological timeline and make the most sense when read in order. However, they're all independent stories/scandals and can be read as standalones.

    All stories take place post TLG and include spoilers for the books.

    Words:
    75,918
    Works:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    10,062
  11. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane makes a list: reasons to Come Out on one side and to Stay Safe on the other. It's definitely not meant to accidentally star in the background of his mom's Instagram post for fans to find.

    But now that the world knows, maybe Shane can finally let himself have everything he's wanted.

    If only Ilya didn't go out and get engaged the next day. Which is fine! Rozanov was settling down? Shane could settle down, too. He would find himself a nice man.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,779
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    770
    Kudos:
    18,803
    Bookmarks:
    3,581
    Hits:
    116,263
  12. *

    Tags
    Summary

    russianstallion messages hollabackgirl on Grindr for some fun, but then they keep showing up at the same places, conveniently right when Boston and Montreal have a game against each other.

    ---
    Shane and Ilya, unbeknownst to each other, are sexting on Grindr while still being rivals on the ice.

    *SMAU that was previously uploaded to twitter is now on ao3 for ease of reading*

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,249
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    965
    Kudos:
    18,091
    Bookmarks:
    4,219
    Hits:
    146,735
  13. 3

    Tags
    Summary

    He then raised his hand to show what he found : a camera. Yuuji’s old camera. The fighter wore a playful smile. Warmth spread on Megumi’s lower abdomen as his mouth dropped slightly.
    “You…”
    Yuuji pressed his mouth against his lover’s ear. His breath was so, so, hot.
    “That way I’ll have something for Singapore.”
    Now, he faced Megumi. That way, he saw the way his green eyes went darker, his pupils blown wide as a strangled gasp tried to escape his throat.
    “Do you want me to turn it on ?”
    Megumi nodded, still unable to make a sound. He barely heard Yuuji pressing record. His brain had shut down; he couldn’t focus on anything but the camera in front of his eyes.

    or, Yuuji just wants a little souvenir ;)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,212
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    364
  14. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Victims of Shane Hollander’s ‘tism rizz (support group for queer hockey players)

    Ilya Rozanov was added to the chat

    OR: After coming out to none other than Troy Barrett, Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander's recent fiancé, is added to a group chat full of queer hockey players on the current league. The twist? Almost every single one of them had some interaction with Hollander that made them, at the very least, question things. It goes as well as expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,131
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    212
    Kudos:
    2,955
    Bookmarks:
    573
    Hits:
    23,787
  15. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Stranger: u play hockey?
    You: Yes. You?
    Stranger: ya
    Stranger: what level?
    You: University, what about you?
    Stranger: mlh
    You: Yeah, sure lol
    Stranger: am serious
    You: Okay, well I don’t believe you. Why would an MLH player be on Omegle to talk about hockey lol
    Stranger: maybe i like to inspire people

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,474
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    221
    Kudos:
    2,585
    Bookmarks:
    385
    Hits:
    25,636
  16. 5

    Tags
    Summary

    Ryland’s entire 8th grade group went on a Field trip To the Tom Ryders set. Now he’s all Tom Wants.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    485
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    89
  17. *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Minho-hyung, can you please fuck me?”

    Minho smiles politely. “Come again?”

    “I wanted to ask for some time already,” Jisung says, puffing his chest out. “And well, I trust you, and since you’re experienced, it would alleviate a lot of my anxiety to do it with you. Could you– Would you fuck me? Please?”

    "Yes, of course, they don’t call me The Sex Haver for nothing," Minho lies. He has not had sex, and no one calls him that, but he’d rather die than let Jisung fuck somebody else. “You can trust me.”

    -
    Or: Virgin Minho lies to his best friend Jisung about being experienced.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,846
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    270
    Kudos:
    2,203
    Bookmarks:
    693
    Hits:
    50,095
  18. 34

    Tags
    Summary

    Shouto comes home drunk and horny. His boyfriend is already in bed.

    He can be quiet... right?

    --
    or, a little tdbk somno action before katsuki wakes up

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,477
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    358
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    3,169
  19. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya:
    9/10 she had freckles

    Shane:
    7.5/10 Medium dick but he ate my ass like he was starving for it

    ---

    Shane and Ilya call it quits after the All-Stars game when Ilya says they can't be anything. He says no one will fuck Shane like he can, and Shane takes that personally, starting a two year cycle of sending each other ratings of the other people they fuck

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,424
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    270
    Kudos:
    7,202
    Bookmarks:
    1,274
    Hits:
    52,589
  20. 73

    Tags
    Summary

    Kinktober Day 14: Toys

    Steve can’t even be mad at Eddie for the delicious torture because this entire thing had been his own idea. The idea that Eddie could be in control of his pleasure even when he’s not at home with Steve? It was fucking heady and had Steve biting down on his knuckles as he came over his fist on more than one occasion.

    But now that he actually has to go through with it? Steve hadn’t realized how difficult of an endeavor it would actually be. Because not only is he going about his day, not sure when or how much Eddie might turn up the toy at any moment, but he’s not allowed to touch himself until Eddie comes home from his shift, and he’s still got almost four hours to go.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,474
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    1,030
    Bookmarks:
    72
    Hits:
    17,466

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