ASpoonsManerisms
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"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”
Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.
Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the no-good, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?
Forget this. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.
And so begins one man's journey to save himself from his awful destiny.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 559,991
- Chapters:
- 46/46
- Collections:
- 55
- Comments:
- 29,554
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by ASpoonsManerisms
05 Mar 2026
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Molting Is a Normal Biological Process, Actually by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
19 Oct 2025
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Summary
“I did.” Childe throws the mango underhand like a basketball. Zhongli snatches it out of the air with one clawed hand, glaring. “You were glowing and tremoring and whispering about tectonic realignment. Hottest shit I’ve ever heard. Molting? Even better.”
“Please leave.”
“And let my hot immortal boyfriend molt in peace?” Childe gasps. “Absolutely not. What if your skin gets stuck and you need help peeling it? What if I miss the ceremonial shedding of the shoulder scales? What if I don’t get to keep a scale again?”
“You framed it last time.”
“Yeah! And it's in the guest bathroom like a statement piece. Everyone loves it. They think it's modern art.”
In which Zhongli molts and Childe loses his mind, again.
Series
- Part 36 of ZhongChi / ChiLi Oneshots
Bookmarked by ASpoonsManerisms
05 Mar 2026