racingdisorder



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  1. Rec *

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    Shane Hollander when asked about speculations of his boyfriend Ilya Rozanov ‘tanking’ on purpose to reunite with him in Providence : “...What? He gets an earful from me every time they send him down. He has lousy puck control and weak defense and needs to work on his shooting accuracy and you think I want it to stay that way? No I don't want my boyfriend to be a joke of a player, I'd like him to put decent enough numbers that he doesn't get moved up and down the NHL and the AHL like an idiot. Now leave me alone.”

    or: Ilya Rozanov is a mediocre fourth liner of the Boston Bears. When he gets outed, the internet theorizes he plays poorly on purpose. His boyfriend isn't amused.

    Language:
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    2/2
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    01 Jul 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Cliff watches him squeeze the phone between his cheek and shoulder, lifting the jersey over his head as he continues to talk, a bit distracted now by the multitasking.

    “And was good practice, you know, for when I am your husband."

    Immediately, the locker room goes dead silent. And so does Rozanov, in fact.

    In which Ilya accidentally calls himself Shane's future husband in the middle of the Bears locker room. Worse still, they're not even dating yet.

    Language:
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    15,942
    Chapters:
    3/3
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    30 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

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    If Shane had had a good, close friend, a confidante, somebody he could talk to about whatever was happening between him and Ilya Rozanov, and that good close friend got it in their head that maybe Shane liked Ilya, had feelings for him, one of the first things Shane would say to refute it would be: but he smokes.

    Shane, Ilya, cigarettes - a love triangle for the ages.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,678
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    28 Jun 2026

  4. Rec *

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    “I am sorry,” he says. “I am not trying to fight. I just don’t like the idea of you not being okay and me not knowing, even when I am in the same place as you.”

    That Shane can understand. He wouldn’t like it if their positions were reversed, after all, if he thought Ilya was potentially in danger and he was in the next room over drinking champagne and making smalltalk. He sees Ilya go somewhere in his head sometimes, sees him retreat inwards, sees him check out even if his body is still there, going so deep inside that he doesn’t even catch Shane’s eye for a bit even when something funny happens, too far away for Shane to reach him.

    But it’s also not like he can just go up and grab Ilya by the arm and pull him away from the party, not without inviting speculation and a whisper storm. He doesn’t have that right, doesn’t have that privilege, to potentially need Ilya or be needed by Ilya and be able to just pull him away.

    It’s moments like these that Shane feels the weight of their secret like a physical thing.

    (5 times shane and ilya couldn't be openly together and 1 time they could)

    Language:
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    1/1
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    27 Jun 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Shane makes some changes to protect his privacy. People notice.
    *5+1 of Shane establishing his boundaries. AU where Shane and Ilya were never caught at the cottage.

    Language:
    English
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    1/1
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    24 Jun 2026