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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    05 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Harris had an unofficial poll on a whiteboard in the media team’s office: Team Hollander vs Team Rozanov; something that apparently was never allowed to be revealed to the general public according to Harris’s strong warning the first time Wyatt had seen it. He had promptly and dramatically signed his name under Team Hollander, though he had to write small in the little space left. He had obviously landed up at the best team possible - at least when it came to being a fan of Shane Hollander.
    Then Ilya Rozanov was traded to Ottawa.
    Suddenly, Shane Hollander went from a Hockey God, whose presence Wyatt was graced with a few times a year, to the most talked about figure in the Centaurs locker room.
    Ilya Rozanov was not Shane Hollander, but he might as well be the second best thing. Who else knew Shane Hollander better than his rival? Here was a live, captive source of information. A practical Shane Hollander encyclopaedia.
    Or
    The Ottawa Centaurs accidentally end up being the Shane Hollander Unofficial Fan Club. And now, with Ilya on the team, Shane Hollander is always there! Wow!

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    05 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Farah, Shane, and his mom have a statement drafted by the end of the first period of the Boston v. Toronto game. By the time the Raiders are done showering and are pulled for post-game press, everyone with even a passing interest in professional hockey knows that Shane Hollander is an Unrestricted Free Agent looking for a new team.

    Shane watched live as Ilya blinked stupidly, took a few seconds to process, and then quickly answered into the mic. This interview would gain millions of views over the coming months and would be cited as the source of the most chaotic social media rollercoaster the MLH ever had.

    No one knew it then, but the Great MLH Seduction had officially begun.

    *****

    Or: Ilya stays with the Boston Raiders instead of trading to Ottawa. This causes quite a few ripples when Shane finally ends his contract with Montreal.

    Featuring: the Hollander Family's Spreadsheets(TM), professional hockey culture shifts, and a tasteful amount of fraud against the MLH.

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    01 Jul 2026

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    “Where is my baby?” Ilya asks as soon as he opens the door to the Pikes’ SUV when it pulls into the parking lot of Christ Church Cathedral. 

    “Lovely to see you too, Rozanov,” Hayden says as he opens his car door. 

    “Hi, Hayden,” Shane says from behind Ilya. “Lovely to see you. Please ignore my husband.”

    Ilya can’t even be bothered to snark back at either of them, because today is his big day. 

    Well, mostly. It’s sort of Amber’s day, too, he guesses, and kind of Shane’s as well if one were to look at it from a very specific angle, but mostly it’s Ilya’s. 

    And as Amber gives him a cheesy grin when she sees him (a new development as of the last couple of weeks), Ilya knows even his boring husband and his boring husband’s loser best friend can’t ruin this perfect day.

    Because today, Ilya’s becoming a godfather.

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    30 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Harris: Hi, Shane!
    Harris: This is Harris Drover.
    Harris: I got your number from Ilya.
    Harris: Sorry to bother you, but I had a question.
    Harris: I know you’re coming in to sign contracts tomorrow, and I had an idea for a social media thing to announce your signing, if you’d be up for it?

    Shane: Oh, yeah, okay.
    Shane: I’ll be there, so we can do whatever.
    Shane: Always happy to help the team with a little internet humiliation that’ll be around for decades.

    Harris: Perfect!
    Harris: I promise, I think you’ll really like this, though.
    Harris: No humiliation involved.
    Harris: The only caveat is, you can’t tell Ilya.

    Shane: Okay?
    Shane: Why?

    Harris: Well.
    Harris: Here’s what I’m thinking.

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    30 Jun 2026