thinkingingreen



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

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    21 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Life feels so chaotic for Shane sometimes, with all the loud noises and the unwritten rules he’s expected to follow, even though no one ever taught them to him. It’s why the bookstore feels more like home to him than anywhere else in Boston. It doesn’t ask Shane to be anything other than himself. Doesn’t ask for any more than he can give.

    He can just exist here.

    Shane likes slow, likes taking his time. And Ilya - without saying or doing anything in particular - makes Shane feel like that’s okay. Like he isn’t doing anything wrong by standing still sometimes.

    (Or, Shane works in a bookstore, Ilya plays hockey, and they both go to the same college. They fall in love in every universe.)

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    16 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    A memory springs to mind: two weeks ago, drunk on Hayden's couch, curled up with Jackie. His voice, soft and quiet, heartbroken with desire, wavering through words about the impossibility of wanting. About the greed that rises in him. About how he clings so badly when he's around Rozanov that all of his common sense falls to the wayside.

    Jackie's voice, rising through the dim gray, as Hayden had snored next to them. All it takes is one of you to make a move, she'd said, their hands laced together, her head on his shoulder. Something's gotta give eventually.

    “I—” Shane starts, before pausing. He thinks he's going to throw up. He thinks that they got it right all those years ago, with it's the hope that kills you. He thinks he has to be brave enough for the both of them, to actually ask, and he's so fucking scared, but he can't let Rozanov's quiet offer of something go unanswered—he'll regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn't take a chance. “Ilya.”

    OR: Shane wants, despite how badly he pretends otherwise.

    Series
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    14 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane swipes out of a few notifications from the ESPN app, all clickbait about Scott Hunter’s speech at the NHL awards. He can’t deal with those right now, his brain is not online. Then he sees the Snapchat notification, from Ilya.

    Shane puts his phone down and blinks a few times. He picks it up and checks the display again. The notification is still there.

    He hasn’t gotten a Snap from Ilya since the end of the season back in April, after they crashed out of the Frozen Four without making it to the final. Shane saw him a few times after that, at team meetings and at the annual sports awards dinner, but he’s pretty sure Ilya left campus before the end of the semester. Shane wasn’t expecting anything from him until the fall, when he’s back at school.

    He rubs his eyes and rolls onto his side, swiping the app open. It’s a video.

    or, the boys are in college, featuring self discovery, russian diminutives, and (to ilya's chagrin) the scott hunter of it all.

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    23 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    It is easy to hate Ilya Rozanov; easier than to like him, at least. It would be easier to keep hating him if he wasn't everywhere that Shane also was.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
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    23 Apr 2026