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When Gavin rifts into their shared apartment shortly after when he knows the freelancer’s classes are, he’s not expecting for the lights to be off and all of the curtains to be shut. Their living room looks as if a whirlwind has gone through it, and immediately it makes his heart crawl up his throat with anxiety.
Vega wasn’t that long ago, and loathe though he is to admit it, it still makes his skin crawl to think about the sadism demon’s presence in their shared apartment. He’s a powerful demon in his own right, but Vega was far too close for comfort, and occasionally he still gets the stabs of anxiety when he doesn’t get greeted by a shouted hello from their living room or bedroom.
He doesn’t think it has anything to do with Vega, though, this time. The freelancer’s been suspiciously quiet, turning into bed early, and almost insultingly disinterested in sex with him, if he didn’t know something was clearly going on with them. Usually the two of them have an…active sex life, to say the least, so it does ring alarm bells.
“Freelancer?”
Gavin calls out, his tail flicking through the quiet air of the apartment in concern. There’s a quiet reply, though not any words- it’s more of a grunt than anything. He pads quietly through their living room and into their shared bedroom, quietly knocking in warning before opening the door.
Usually by the time he’s home the freelancer is still studying in the living room or watching some show, but tonight they’re curled under the sheets so far he can only see their hair poking out. The curtains are drawn, and none of the usual music they play in the background is on, which makes his concern sharpen even more.
“Hey, deviant,” he murmurs, gently sliding a hand down their arm over the sheets. He gets a little noise from the human shaped lump in the sheets, which makes him hum. “What’s wrong? Did something happen at school?”
Another, quieter noise and a shake of what he thinks is their head.
“Alright,” he concedes easily. “You don’t have to talk about it now, but will you come out from under the sheets?” he prods, gentler than usual with his tone. Most of the time he’s flirty, a little drawn out and sensual, but it’s softened right now in response to their emotional distress.
He can feel the distress coming off of them, a tightly balled knot in their chest. He’s no empathy daemon, so he can’t fix it the way Caelum could, but he can help the best he can right now. He’s not an empathy daemon, but he is their boyfriend, and that has to be worth something.
The freelancer whines, but the mass of sheets wriggles and their tear-stained face finally meets his own. They’ve always been one to fight their own battles, so he’s not surprised that they were trying to handle…whatever this is, on their own too.
“Hi, deviant,” he whispers, cupping their face in his hands to wipe tears away from underneath their eyes “glad you’re safe,” he admits. It feels stupid to be so worried, but his partner is only human, and they did have the whole Vega situation which makes him protective.
They smile, watery, but fond, and lean into his hands on their cheeks “hi, Gavin,” they croak out, rough with crying. The incubus nudges their chin up to kiss them, tasting the salt of tears on their lips for a long moment before he licks it away. “Stuff with Vega again?” he guesses, absently stroking over the skin of their collarbone.
Surprisingly, they shake their head.
“No?” he questions, watching their pretty eyes gloss over with tears again. “Hey, it’s okay,” he reassures softly “you don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. Whatever you need right now, freelancer.”
They sniffle a little, rubbing their nose on their sleeve. It does seem to reassure them a bit at least, judging by the slight softening to the knots of anxiety and exhaustion curled up around them. “It’s just stuff with my family again, I’m fine,” they promise, as if they weren’t crying into the sheets when he came in.
“Again?” his brows furrow a bit “I know your family isn’t great but you’ve never gone into much detail about it. I know it’s…personal, and I’m not about to ask you to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
The freelancer grabs at his shirt, pulling him down to kneel on the bed beside them and he slides his arms around them in a quiet effort to ground them. He hasn’t heard much about their family, but knows enough from Lasko, Huxley, and Damien not to prod into it. It’s something that causes them pain, and he didn’t want to reopen a wound if they were trying to ignore it.
“My parents aren’t…great,” they state lamely, saying it as if it’s the understatement of the century. Maybe it is, for all Gavin knows. “They abused me as a kid, and…sort of, as an adult? It’s complicated,” they grimace.
He can feel his heart plummet and his blood turn to ice in his veins at the idea of his deviant being treated so poorly. He already knew about Kody assaulting them earlier in the semester, and they seemed to struggle with it a bit, especially considering that Vega had visited them as well. It makes his heart hurt to think of anyone else hurting them like that, and it must show on his face, because they press their teary face into his shoulder like they’re embarrassed.
“Complicated…” he says sharply, and winces at the way the fear seems to constrict around them tighter. “Sorry,” he whispers “I’m not upset with you,” Gavin promises, which does seem to make them relax a little bit. “When you say…complicated, what do you mean, deviant?” he murmurs.
It feels private like this, a hushed conversation tangled in their sheets with all the shades shut. It’s dark, and makes him desperately want to hold them tight and never let go. He shifts, gently pulling the freelancer into his lap to reassure them.
“It’s,” they pause, shuffling to get more comfortable in his lap “I don’t know, even,” they admit, finally, voice tight. “Half of my family and I don’t talk anymore” they wince, pressing under his chin as if it will hide them “comes with the territory of being public about being abused by my father.”
Gavin can feel his blood boiling, and squeezes them tight against him “they’re shitbags, then,” he says, fighting to keep the sharpness out of his voice. They just hum a little in reply, as if agreeing but unwilling to say so.
“My mom is the complicated bit,” they say after a long stretch of silence that’s only broken by quiet sniffles. “I’d rather not talk about it, but,” another long stretch of silence, but he waits it out quietly by stroking their back.
“My mom called today, left a message.”
He grimaces at their tone, broken and unsure of themselves in a way he hasn’t heard in a while now. “My love,” Gavin says quietly, pulling them close to pepper them in soft kisses “I’m sorry.”
It’s not enough- not nearly, but it seems to be their breaking point. There’s a shake to their shoulders and he can see their lips tremble, eyes welling up with tears. A sharp hiccup breaks the silence, and their face presses back against his shoulder again while he strokes over their back in nonsensical patterns.
He wishes there was more he could do. Wishes desperately that he could fix this for them, or take away the pain and anguish they’re feeling right now.
“I’m so fucking scared, Gavin,” they choke out, muffled into his shoulder.
The incubus can feel his heart ache painfully for them, and he presses kisses to their hair while they cry into his shoulder. Caelum might be the better demon for this task, but the empathy daemon seems to be busy at the moment, so he’ll do his best to help them.
“Hey, hey, look at me,” he murmurs, pressing his forehead against theirs when they pull away from his shoulder. “You’re safe,” he promises “I’m here, nothing’s going to happen to you. Caelum and your friends along with me will make sure, if you’re afraid of something happening.”
It just makes them sob, tears streaking their cheeks in anguish, and he cups the base of their skull for a long moment while they struggle to get the words out. “Not- no. I’m not afraid of my mom. Not like that,” they hiccup, hands balled up in his shirt.
He frowns, trying to put the pieces together. They’re afraid, but not of their parents, it seems, and he honestly can’t pinpoint what they would be scared of then. He knows that sometimes he misses things on account of being a demon, but he doesn’t think this is really one of those things.
“I’m scared of being alone,” they choke out, like it pains them. “My father’s family and I, we don’t talk and…I don’t want to lose my mom’s family too.” They kiss him, messy from tears, but it still makes his heart warm “I don’t want to be alone, without a family.”
It rushes into clarity finally, and he squeezes them close in an unnecessarily tight hug. “Deviant,” he sighs, gentler than he intends.
“What do you think Caelum, Lasko, Damien, and Huxley are?” he questions, rocking them slowly in his lap. Gavin knows he doesn’t understand what they’ve gone through, but he does understand feeling ostracized and feeling afraid of never having a family. It’s astonishingly similar, considering the circumstances.
“Freelancer, you already have a family. We love you, and we’re supporting you. Stop trying to carry all of the load on your own,” he murmurs, thumbing tears from their cheeks “no matter what happens with your biological family, we’re not going anywhere.”
The freelancer gives a wobbly smile, so he considers that a victory, and they meet in a slow kiss. It’s definitely not the best kiss they’ve shared, but it still makes him happy, and he enjoys their lips on his regardless of how unskilled it is at the moment.
“Thanks, pretty boy,” they croak out, wiping their eyes frantically as if frustrated with themselves for crying.
“Thank you, for trusting me. I know you like carrying your burdens alone but,” he pauses, kissing their forehead “we’re always going to be here if you want our support. If they were here, the rest of them would say the same.”
They smile, arms tight around his ribs in a hug that almost makes them ache. Regardless, he can tell the knots have loosened around them, and they seem to have almost cried themselves out.
“Cuddles, please?” the freelancer requests, tugging at his shirt with a pleading expression. He grins, feeling incredibly fond of them. His freelancer really is perfect- not that they’d need him to say that. They can tell by his enamored expression, judging by the twinkle that’s slowly building in their eyes.
“I couldn’t dream of denying you, deviant,” he promises.
Admittedly, he can’t dream of denying his lover much at all, so cuddling up to them after an especially rough day isn’t exactly a hardship.
The freelancer crawls out of his lap and slides under the sheets, looking up at him with teary eyes and their hands outstretched to entice him into curling up with them. The incubus only smiles a little, settling beside them under the sheets and pulling them close so they can rest their head on his chest.
It’s not a long-term fix, and he knows their relationship with their parents will continue making it hard for them at times, but right now he’s content to ease their anxieties by curling up with them and stroking aimless patterns over their back until they nod off.
They drool on his chest and sprawl over him, and distantly he thinks of how grateful he is to have the weird little family they’ve formed together. Things aren’t perfect, and he knows they’ll struggle with their home life for a long time, but he doesn’t mind being there to coax them into his arms every single time if it means he gets to see their little smile, and hear their laugh.
They deserve better than what they have, and he’s excited to watch the two of them create it together.