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The snowy path went on forever.
Frisk pulled their free hand inside the sleeve of their striped sweater to shield it from the cold. The air cut into their uncovered skin like metal, leaving it raw and numb. Their other hand they kept close to their heart, clasping the toy knife they had found back in the ruins.
It was just a toy knife. A harmless piece of plastic. Frisk only held it for comfort, as a symbol of protection. They never imagined it would be of any use.
It was no defence against the cold, that was for certain.
The knife lay abandoned in the snow, only a foot from where Frisk had curled up into a ball, holding their cellphone like their life depended on it.
Maybe it did.
It had been hell selecting the number with frost-bitten fingers, and accidentally choosing the alarm function twice before finally triumphing hadn't helped. But now, with their finger poised above the call button and their breath fogging the tiny green screen, Frisk hesitated.
They looked over their shoulder. The outline of the frost-rimmed door to the ruins was just barely visible in the distance.
They couldn't return to the ruins, not after leaving like they had. The only way was forward.
Frisk had to stay determined. Had to.
They could still feel Toriel's hand ruffling their hair, and hear echoes of her gentle voice.
Toriel's arms had felt like home.
Finally, Frisk could take it no longer. Heart pounding, they all but smashed in the call button. With tremulous hands, they raised the phone to their ear.
They waited.
After a moment of stunned silence, they tried again.
No matter how many times the phone rang in the other end, nobody came.
The branch snapped from the cold. They were alone. No-one knew they were here. The branch snapped from the cold...
The more Frisk repeated the mantra, the more they found themselves slowing down and their eyes straying from the path, half expecting their gaze to land on some ferocious beast every time they glanced at the deep woods to their left.
The toy knife had found its way back into Frisk's hand, their knuckles white around it. Every step Frisk took made them more aware of how useless is was, but they couldn't find the will to discard it. The only other option was to soldier on barehanded, and continuing on unarmed, knowing there were unknown monsters ahead... they would only succumb to the panic trying to claw its way to their mind that much faster.
Frisk turned their head just in time to catch a glimpse of a moving shadow.
Frisk bit their lip. Tears would just freeze to their face.
It was an accident.
It was.
It was just a toy knife. Not a real weapon by any stretch. They had only lashed out in panic, without aiming.
It was an accident.
The knife, freshly coated in bright crimson, fell out of Frisk's trembling hands and onto the snow.
The skeleton looked down at the gaping hole in his shirt and the liquid seeping out of it, hand still held towards Frisk for a shake. His cheeky grin never faded, even as the surface of his skull broke out in sweat.
"That's one hell of a greeting you've got there, kiddo."
It was all Frisk could do to keep breathing.
The lights in the skeleton's eyes dimmed as he looked up to study Frisk.
"That look on your face..." the skeleton blinked. "We haven't met before, have we?"
Frisk opened their mouth. No words came.
"Heh..." The skeleton closed his eyes, still smiling. "Look, kid. You don't seem like the bad sort. How about you make this the last EXP you gain?"
Finally Frisk could move again. Immediately, they reached towards the skeleton. Maybe they could still stop the bleeding. Maybe...
The skeleton took a step backwards just as Frisk was about to touch his hoodie.
"Don't bother." He looked on as Frisk staggered and only barely regained their footing. He winked. "Thanks for trying, though."
He exploded into dust.
Frisk stood in place, stunned.
Then, the screaming began.
They fell to their knees and then on their side, writhing on the ground, desperately scrubbing away the dust covering them. It was everywhere; on their clothes, in their hair, on their skin. All the while, they screamed, only pausing for a hitched breath when their body began screaming for oxygen in turn. Their voice grew hoarse and there was still more dust.
After a small eternity, it was over; the dust was off them, mixed together with the snow underneath. Frisk was too tired to move from the spot, so they lay there, sobbing.
When they opened their eyes, blurry with tears and exhaustion, something yellow flashed by.
As their heart settled down and their body slowly stopped convulsing, the chill returned, reaching all the way to their heart.
It was only thanks to some primordial instinct that Frisk managed to crawl through the sparse gate and reach the sentry station. There, the last of their strength failed, and they collapsed against the station, holding themselves upright with support from the wall.
They needed a plan, but none were forthcoming. They needed to move, but their body betrayed them.
They felt they were forgetting something very important, some memory swept away by the endless empty hours spent in the ruins, but couldn't for the life of them fathom what it was.
In the end, they allowed the darkness waiting behind their eyes to claim them. Their knees sank into the snow.
"Sans! Are you here? You were supposed to be at your other station hours ago!"
There was another skeleton.
Frisk's heart stopped.
The new skeleton strode across the landscape at an alarming speed, and upon spotting Frisk leaning against the station, walked to them. He was no doubt tall in general, but from Frisk's vantage point he might as well have been a giant.
"Hello, stranger! Did you see my brother leave this place? He's about your height, but bonier."
Frisk's body seemed to move on its own. They shook their head.
The skeleton looked annoyed. "Then he must be shirking off again! I swear, that lazybones..." The skeleton folded his arms and grimaced, like he was cataloguing all his grievances from great to small in his mind.
After a moment of pouting, the skeleton gave Frisk a curious look. "By the way, who are you? I haven't seen you around. Are you a tourist?"
Frisk swallowed and nodded.
The skeleton flashed them a bright smile. "I hope you have a good time! Only, what are doing so far out? Are you lost?"
Frisk nodded again, ignoring their mounting panic the best they could. Was the skeleton toying with him? Couldn't he tell Frisk was human, or was he simply biding his time?
Frisk became painfully aware of the slight possibility there was still dust on them. Any moment now, the skeleton would notice, or else realise what was going on, and then...
They shuddered.
The skeleton gave them a puzzled stare. Then, understanding dawned.
"Oh, I see! Obviously, you must be cold. Undyne always says monsters with skin need thick fur to stay warm here!"
Before Frisk could respond, the skeleton unwound the tattered cape around his shoulders and, crouching down with an audible rattle, wrapped it around Frisk's shoulders instead.
Frisk instinctively touched the cape. The fabric was threadbare and only a moderate change for the better, but that didn't matter.
"That should keep you warm until you can get back to Snowd— why are you crying??"
Frisk tried swallowing back their tears, but to no avail.
The skeleton moved his gloved hands up and down, as if unsure what to do with them, then finally leaned back down and placed one of them on Frisk's shoulders.
"There is no need to be sad! I, the Great Papyrus, will aid you in any way I can!" He hesitated when Frisk's tears continued to flow, but only for an instant. "Are you tired? Hungry? Are you feeling lonely? Whatever it is, I can fix it!"
Frisk opened their mouth to speak. A sob came out.
Papyrus bent back up and scratched the back of his skull, clearly at a loss.
"Okay, how about this?" he said after a moment of pondering. He dropped down on one knee in front of Frisk, offering his hand. "I'll take you back to town, okay? You'll feel better after some food and rest, I'm sure! And don't worry about the puzzles! I can solve them for you if you don't feel up to them!"
Frisk looked at Papyrus' hand through hazy eyes, and the open, sincere expression on his face.
His smile was like sunshine.
This was their last chance, Frisk realised distantly. They could still come clean about what had happened and damn the consequences. Else, if they took Papyrus up on his offer, took advantage of his kindness after what they had done, they'd be more of a monster than any of those living in the underground.
Frisk looked on as their fingers curled around Papyrus' and felt the reassuring squeeze the skeleton gave them. Their legs moved to follow.
The tears came to an end on their own, replaced by hollowness.
"Come on, friend! Don't be shy! There's more where that came from!" Papyrus stirred a pot brimming with spaghetti with a ladle that had seen better days, grinning from ear to ear.
Frisk pushed their plate away. "I've had enough, thank you."
"Really??"
"I couldn't eat another bite." They really couldn't, at least if they wanted to live another day. Papyrus' spaghetti tasted like burns and battery acid.
"Are you sure you're not just being polite? I don't want you to go hungry just because you want to make sure I get my share!" Papyrus stood up to his full, impressive height. "There is no need to hold back on my account, my friend! I can always cook more!"
"No, really," Frisk's eyes had began to water. "I'm completely and utterly full."
"Alrighty then!" Papyrus abandoned the ladle and swooped in to whisk away Frisk's plate back to the kitchen. With practiced ease, he jumped and dunked the plate in the sink near the ceiling boundary. He then doused the plate in soap and drew water.
Frisk looked on quietly as Papyrus took a dish brush and scrubbed the plate sparkling clean, standing on the tip of his toes as he did so. "You're doing the dishes right away?"
"Of course! No reason to slack off from doing chores!"
Papyrus' vigorous scrubbing slowed down, and he peered into the darkness beyond the window. He frowned.
"Sans really should be back by now." There was a hint of apology in his tone. "He doesn't usually come home this late. Slacking off from returning to home! It's almost impressive!"
He smiled, but even after knowing Papyrus but for a few hours, Frisk could tell his heart wasn't in it. Their own heart sank in turn.
"I bet he's gone off to Grillby's again, filling himself up with grease!" Papyrus continued when Frisk couldn't find the words to respond to him. "He really should think about his health more. And I just know that when I go fetch him, he'll just laugh and make terrible jokes! Such terrible jokes." He shuddered, then turned towards Frisk with a big smile. "I can't wait for you two to meet! You'll love him!"
Frisk summoned all their determination to stop the tears gathering in the corners of their eyes. Guilt constricted their guts like a deadly serpent.
Papyrus frowned again. "Are you sure you're well? If you caught a cold in the snow, you should rest! You can meet Sans tomorrow instead!"
Again, his eyes flitted to the window.
"Yes, he must be at Grillby's. Unless he has fallen asleep in the snow again." Papyrus muttered mostly to himself, then shook his head and dedicated his full attention to Frisk. "Anyway! If you can't walk to the guest room, you can sleep in my bed tonight! After all, as your host I'm responsible for your well-being!"
Frisk blinked. "Where will you sleep, then?"
Papyrus held up his chin. "Nyeh heh heh! Fret not, friend! I have a special, secret talent!" He winked. "I can sleep standing up!"
The race car bed was more comfortable than it looked, but for all their exhaustion Frisk couldn't catch a single wink.
The room was pitch black but for a thin strip of light shining through a chink in the door, proof that the lamps outside the room were blazing on.
Frisk could hear Papyrus pacing downstairs, minute after minute, hour after hour.
They must have dozed off eventually, because when they finally stumbled downstairs, what awaited Frisk was a plateful of stone cold spaghetti, and a note with Papyrus' phone number and a sincere apology that he had to go out to look for his missing brother. Frisk was welcome to stay as long they pleased and use all the amenities.
And if they could feed Sans' pet rock while they were at it, that would be just super.
Undyne's gaze was like an ice auger.
Even by itself, it was enough to stop Frisk dead in their tracks. The spear she wielded, glowing in an eerie shade of echo flower blue, only served to make sure they were permanently immobilised.
"Undyne..." The Monster Kid was overawed meeting their idol face to face, so much so they seemed blind to Frisk's distress and in fact, anything but the hulking monstrosity before them.
A simpler, feral part of Frisk's mind was yelling at them to run, to run as fast as they could and never look back, past Undyne, past Waterfall, didn't matter where as long as they got away away away.
It was probably for the best the rest of Frisk ignored the impulse.
Undyne's eyes were still on them — no longer on both the Monster Kid and Frisk, but on Frisk alone.
Frisk stood still, waiting. The question was whether Undyne would take them for another monster kid in a striped shirt, like Papyrus had, or else...
Undyne's eyes narrowed.
It was almost as if she could smell the dust on them.
For a fleeting moment of insanity, Frisk hoped she could.
"...Don't go too far, you hear?" Undyne raised her spear to her heavily armoured shoulder and averted her gaze. Her armour clattered loudly as she stomped away.
"Yo! Can you believe it? Undyne talked to us! She was right there and she talked to us!" There was no containing the Monster Kid's enthusiasm. They waved their head back and forth. "Hey hey, if we sneak after her now, maybe she'll talk to us again!"
"You go," Frisk managed to reply. Their mind was floating. "I...promised to meet up with someone."
The only way was forward.
"Hello, my friend! Undyne just called and said she ran into you at Waterfall. Said you looked a bit...humany."
Frisk understood only distantly that their fingers dug into their arms hard enough to leave marks.
"Never fear! I told her you're my friend, and she knows I wouldn't just befriend a human if I saw one. I would try to capture them! So rest at ease!"
"Uh huh..." Frisk felt dizzy.
"...I have to go now." Frisk could easily imagine the look on Papyrus' face from voice alone: the usually exuberant skeleton had lingering unease written across his features. "Undyne will be here any minute. She promised she'd help me look for Sans."
Frisk swallowed. "That's good."
"Yeah, I'm sure she'll find him right away! Then I can finally introduce you to him!" The usual cheeriness returned to Papyrus' voice. "Talk to you soon!"
The cellphone still in hand, Frisk pondered the river before them.
Lying on Napstablook's floor, Frisk really did feel like trash.
"Hello, friend! It's been a while."
"Hello, Papyrus." Frisk made sure they sat down on packed ground and not one of the metal platings covering most surfaces near the Core. It really had been a while. Days, probably. Frisk had lost track somewhere in Waterfall.
"Listen," Papyrus attempted what Frisk had to assume was a conspirational tone, but missed his mark by a couple dozen decibels. "Undyne said she called Doctor Alphys, and she said you really are a human! Even if your eyes are a lot smaller than Undyne thought humans have, and you don't carry a ten-feet sword!"
Frisk's mouth was dry. "Papyrus..."
"You should have told me sooner! I didn't even get a chance to capture you!" Despite his words, Papyrus' smile radiated through the speaker. "I mean, all my puzzles are in Snowdin while you're in Hotland! And I definitely can't capture a friend!"
"I'm sorry." It was a different apology.
"It's okay! I'll just have to wait for another human to capture. Nyeh heh heh!"
Frisk's stomach churned.
"Undyne's pretty mad, though! She can't really chase you into Hotland, but she said she'll send other members of the Royal Guards after you. But never fear! I, the Great Papyrus, will make sure you shall not come to harm! I'll guide you wherever you need to go!"
"Papyrus..." Words were pushing against the dam inside them, threatening to break through. Frisk closed their eyes.
"Wow...who would have thought I'd make friends with a human? Sans will be amazed! I mean, it's not surprising humans too would see how great I am, but—"
"Papyrus."
Their tone must have done the trick. Frisk could feel Papyrus fall silent and listen with rapt attention.
The dam broke.
Despite their best attempts, Frisk's voice quivered as they began to speak. "There's something else I should have told you..."
Papyrus had sat perfectly still on his knees for nearly half an hour now. So still that for all but his pose, he might have been mistaken for his snowy double back towards Snowdin.
Frisk had been still too, barely daring to breathe despite the distance and the trees between them and Papyrus. The cold had gone nowhere, but it was nothing compared to the chill that came from within. It could be endured.
When the words had finally escaped Frisk, they had poured out in torrents. Frisk had spoken in an endless babble, confessing everything, leaving no room for Papyrus to interrupt.
Perhaps that was for the better.
For the first time since Frisk had peered at him from behind the trees Papyrus shifted ever so slightly, moving his weight to the left. He was holding something in his right hand.
Frisk didn't see what Papyrus was clutching, but they could guess.
A harmless piece of plastic.
"Want to know what the really funny thing is? He won't even come after you. Even if you walk right up to him, he'll let you go."
Frisk just barely managed to stop themselves from turning towards Flowey, but nothing could stop the flinch. They could only pray Flowey hadn't noticed.
Averting their eyes was useless; Flowey emerged right where their gaze fell mere moments later, and then looking away would have been admitting defeat.
"Yes, really," Flowey continued, all smiles. "Doesn't have it in him unless you really push him. Now her, on the other hand..." He nudged what served as his head at the scene beyond the trees. Undyne had arrived moments before, landing a comforting hand on Papyrus' shoulder. "She will break the barrier itself to get at you if she has to. Boy, don't you feel stupid returning back here now? You need every advantage you can get if you want to escape."
Frisk bit their lip. Pure poison or not, Flowey was right about one thing: while compelled to do so, it had been foolish to ride the ferry and return to the crime scene. What could they possibly accomplish by witnessing Papyrus' anguish and risking being caught? Unless...
Flowey revealed his teeth. No flower should have fangs. "Unless you don't plan to run away? It's true what they say, you know: it gets easier the more LOVE you have. Maybe you understand now that you have some."
Frisk closed their eyes. "Stop it."
Flowey laughed, a sickening, manic cackle that made Frisk's insides turn. "Oh, isn't that cute? You think I'll disappear if you just close your eyes? Idiot." His voice turned sweet as honey. "But really, there is no need to be sad! After all, all this means is that your eyes have opened to the true meaning of this world."
Frisk glared venom at Flowey.
Flowey laughed. "Yes, that's the spirit! Golly, imagine if you had remained rotting in those miserable ruins for the rest of your life. That would have been so boring! Things get so much more interesting when you shed away your innocence and gain some real experience." He slithered closer. "You know what I mean. Don't you feel smarter? Don't you feel wiser?" His voice gained a demonic trill. "I know you feel stronger."
"No."
"Aw, there's no reason to lie to me! Your friend Flowey knows the truth." His voice dropped to a deep rumble. "You wanted him dead."
"No!"
Flowey chuckled, back to his child-like demeanour. "But you did. That's how monsters work. The more you want to kill them, the sooner they drop dead!" Flowey laughed for what felt like an eternity. "Trust me, I know. You have to keep lying to yourself at first until you are strong enough to look at yourself the way you truly are. But don't worry! It gets easier with every kill. You've already started, so why not finish the job?"
Frisk forced their eyelids open and met Flowey's soulless gaze. "I said stop it."
"Heh...very well. Anything for my best friend." Flowey paused. "Just remember...I know. I will always know."
Frisk clapped their hands on their ears and squeezed their eyes shut, but there was no blocking out the laughter.
That wasn't the worst part.
The worst thing was that Flowey was right.
Frisk had done it. And they had meant it. That was the truth.
They hadn't stepped out of the ruins with the intention to kill. Their weapon had been a toy, only wielded for comfort. They had never thought they would actually brandish it for a strike, let alone a killing blow.
They hadn't meant to kill Sans. Not really.
But for an instant, the split second they had lashed out and struck, they had meant it enough for it to count.
Frisk looked at their hands. The dust was not visible. It was beneath their skin, festering there, rotting their flesh and burrowing deeper and deeper.
They hugged themselves.
They looked around. Flowey was gone. No doubt he was still close by, observing Frisk.
The dust was in their eyes.
Flowey said he would never forget. Frisk would never forget, either.
Well, that wasn't quite true. There was one way Frisk could forget.
And they had to make amends.
They watched Undyne escort Papyrus back towards Snowdin, the skeleton still holding onto the toy knife like it was the only thing anchoring him to life. They waited until nightfall, and for the lights of what was now just Papyrus' house to be turned off.
They saw Undyne step outside, brow knit in concentration. She looked down the empty street, then again at the door next to her.
Frisk, on the other hand, only looked forward. They began decisively walking towards Undyne.
The spear that pierced their heart didn't hurt at all.
Frisk remembered.
A loud, embarrassing sound much akin to a fart filled the air.
"Never gets old," said Sans, revealing the whoopie cushion attached to his hand. His eyes grinned along with his mouth.
He hesitated, tilting his head.
"Hey, what's up? The joke wasn't that bad, kid."
It's not as if you can go back and change fate.
Frisk shook their head and put on a smile. The laugh they managed wasn't pretty, but it was genuine and free, and above all, relieved beyond belief.
It did nothing to stop the tears streaming down their face.