panic joon
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Seokjin angles his chin, and he gives a sage look that should not be on the face of a person that is enjoying his fourth mimosa before 1pm.
“Joonie, everyone has their needs. Everyone has their wants. I want to remodel my bathroom. You want to watch a stranger fuck your husband.”
Series
- Part 1 of sometimes you just need two bulls
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He doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this up: the desperate need for Seokjin to look at him tangled together with the paralyzing fear of what will happen when he does.
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Jungkook has been getting pretty bold grabbing Namjoon’s ass these days.
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“I sometimes beat the shit out of guys who come on to you.” He said it slowly so he would never have to say it again.
Jungkook’s jaw slackened.
“You—what?“ he breathed out. “You—how long have you been doing th—that?”
“Since we started dating,” Namjoon admitted. “August.”
“Ah,” Jungkook said, “And how many guys have you beaten the shit out of?”
“Like five,” Namjoon sighed.
“Five! Five?! That’s like almost once a month!”
“Yeah…that’s about right.”
--or--
5 times Kim Namjoon (against all his non-violent instincts) beats the shit out of somebody for his boyfriend's honor.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,152
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 856
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- 4,465
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- 1,548
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
07 Oct 2020
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Bookmarker's Notes
Oct 24 2020
God this is so fucking FUNNY, one of the best things I’ve ever read TBH. if ur thinking abt reading this u NEED TO.
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“That guy from the coffee shop yesterday—the one who made me that really good latte—he sent me five pictures of his dick on instagram overnight,” Jungkook whispered, miserable, looking around. The spot was popular with faculty. People over the age of forty were everywhere. “I had to wake up to them. I wanted to text you but I didn’t know how to say it… what words to use… it was so gross. Why would he do something like that?”
“He didn’t say?” Namjoon asked, eyebrows arched, sardonic. “But actually, I already knew. He messaged me first. He thought I was you.”
“What?”
“You used my card and that’s how he got the name. He tracked me down, I told him to fuck off, and then he found you from my account.”
“Well, that sounds illegal. But—oh my god,” Jungkook said, burying his face in his hands. “I want to not see that guy again, but that’s torture! I love that coffee shop! No offense,” he said, dropping his voice, “But everybody here is like fifty.”
“So what should we do?”
“Nothing,” Jungkook moped. “We could always go to Starbucks.”
“Wouldn’t I rather die,” Namjoon said, narrowing his eyes. “Than give into the mass commercialization of coffee. The beans they use at our café are grown and sold by indigenous communities in Chile without an exploitative middle-man!”
“Okay, but they’re ground up and steamed with milk by a pervert!”
“I know, I know…. Maybe he just works Wednesdays?”
“Let’s hope.”
Namjoon took a sip. “What did the dick look like?”
“Oh my god, Joon,” Jungkook said in a low voice, serious, “It looks like somebody rolled an expired Italian sausage through a rat’s nest.”
//
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Namjoon intends to spend the Purge like he does every year. Holed up in his apartment, pretending like he's not there and hoping that his neighbours or the government don't decide to kill him.
He doesn't expect one of his neighbours to bang on the door during the Purge, begging to be let in.
And he definitely doesn't expect to be stupid enough to open the door.
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“Is that Kim Seokjin?" He asks incredulously with a frown as he watches a good looking and obviously beautiful man entering his sister's birthday party.
or: Seokjin arrives in Namjoon's life again, bringing back memories of their past.
Series
- Part 2 of Namjin drabbles/one shots
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Namjoon stared down at the carpet to steady himself for another round of translation. The famous red carpet. Why was it red? Was there a significance to it? Namjoon filed that away as something to Naver later. What was the origin of the red carpet? Kings, maybe. Kings and Queens and other such monarchs and their court, he theorised. Does that mean they are the kings here? It certainly didn’t feel like it.
It felt more like they were fresh meat, thrown to salivating wolves with those wicked sharp teeth.
Or: Namjoon wants to fall down, but Seokjin is there to catch him and prop him back up.
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#CompletelyUnexpectedTrueIdentity by Mother of Pearl (notnacre)
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
06 Sep 2021
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Jungkook doesn't see any problem with roleplaying whatever kind of character he wants, including a princess. Nobody on the internet is ever who they say they are.
Namjoon knows his new roleplay partner Jungsoon isn't really a runaway princess. That's just a game, but it gets real when he starts to fall for her. It doesn't matter that they've never met irl. His gut tells him he knows everything he needs to about the real girl behind the character.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100,392
- Chapters:
- 31/31
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- 1
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- 2,459
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- 2,006
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- 690
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- 49,831
Bookmarked by confetticanon
09 Nov 2020
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Bookmarker's Notes
dec 4 2020
this is such a fucking delightful brilliant masterpiece omfg my only regret is not being able to read this on my books app otherwise I’d have so many highlighted things and annotations to include in this bookmark but omg. PERFECT FIC
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In retrospect, letting Jungkook move in with him might have been a bad idea.
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Before every performance and interview and photoshoot, Namjoon pulls Jungkook aside and presents his face, smiling gently, cheeks plump and dimples standing at attention, for Jungkook to press his fingers into. And every time, Jungkook feels a wash of relief and gratitude and something that he doesn’t know how to describe wash over the surface of his skin.
He knows it’s magic.
He just doesn’t know where to go from here.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,608
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 46
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- 1,094
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
22 Dec 2020
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Bookmarker's Notes
Dec 21 2020
The chaos is familiar and comfortable, and Jungkook looks around the room again as they’re all heckling Seokjin.
His eyes are drawn, unthinkingly, to Namjoon. Always to Namjoon.
He’s beautiful, grin so wide his eyes look like they’re clenched shut, slapping at the bare skin of his own thigh where his shorts have ridden up. And of course, his dimples, deep and shining with their own collection of magic.
Jungkook wants desperately to kiss him, but that would be too much. Too far. He’s already pushing it, poking Namjoon’s face all the time. And even though Namjoon said it didn’t hurt at all, even felt kind of good, Jungkook doesn’t totally believe him. Sometimes, Namjoon will close his eyes when Jungkook touches him, looking almost pained, even when Jungkook is being extra gentle.
When Namjoon looks over and sees Jungkook looking at him, his smile softens, turns into something private and precious, just between the two of them. Jungkook returns it, grinning widely and rolling his eyes at Seokjin, even as the bottom drops out of his stomach.
Jungkook’s massive crush on Namjoon is threatening to swallow him whole, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. It was fine up until they started doing this...whatever it is they’re doing, this ritual entirely for Jungkook’s sake. Namjoon is a friend and a leader and someone that Jungkook loves, and it was easy to toss all his extra feelings in a corner and ignore them when Namjoon treated him just the same as everyone else. But now they have this thing that’s just for them, a secret, kind of, and Jungkook has never really liked keeping secrets before but he likes this.
He likes having this with Namjoon.
//
Taehyung and Jimin both stare at him as they swallow. Jimin takes another crunching bite of apple and hands it over to Taehyung, who slowly does the same.
“Okay, fuck, what is it?” Namjoon is not good under pressure.
“Are you and Jungkookie secretly dating or something?”
Namjoon chokes on air. “Are we what?”
Jimin rolls his eyes again. “Are you dating? Or just fucking before shows?”
“I hope they’re not fucking,” Taehyung chimes in mildly, “they’re only ever gone for like five minutes.”
“True.”
“We’re not fucking,” Namjoon whisper-yells, feeling distressingly close to the end of his rope.
“So you’re dating then.”
“No! We’re not doing that either!”
“I don’t get it.”
“Well,” Namjoon starts, and then stops, because. Well. He doesn’t really get it either.
Jungkook has been poking his dimples for weeks now, usually at least once a day, and Namjoon has been resolutely ignoring the way his whole body reacts to Jungkook’s strong hands cradling his jaw. He doesn’t think Jungkook has noticed yet, too caught up in whatever is going through his own mind, but Namjoon knows he can’t hide it forever.
//
“A potion?” Yoongi has an eyebrow raised disapprovingly and a slight frown sitting on his mouth like an unwanted guest.
“It was Jimin’s idea.”
“What kind of potion? Is it a fun one?” Seokjin snags one of Namjoon’s bags of chips and examines it closely before ripping it open and chowing down.
“It’s a truth-telling one. And no, not very fun so far.”
Seokjin and Yoongi both still immediately, and in the silence Namjoon crunches down on the hard candy just for something to do with his mouth that doesn’t involve blurting out all his deepest, darkest secrets--like how he accidentally jerked off wearing one of Yoongi’s FG shirts instead of his own and somehow got come on the sleeve and had to panic-overnight another one.
He feels a slight push at the bottom of his skull, a sensation he’s starting to recognize as bad news, and opens his mouth to confess everything to Yoongi, when Yoongi suddenly brings his palm up and slaps it over Namjoon’s mouth.
“Do you want to talk to us right now?”
Namjoon shakes his head, Yoongi’s hand moving with him, still clamped over Namjoon’s mouth. Namjoon is so grateful for him he could cry.
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I'd rather be dead than cool by namging for introserendipity
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
27 Feb 2021
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"Wait," Jungkook pauses, "Namjoon.... Namjoon..." he mutters to himself, then he perks up. "As in Kim Namjoon?"
"Uh, I mean.." Namjoon flounders, "Yeah, but there's a lot of Kim Namjoon's out there in the world, probably-"
"Kim Namjoon." Jungkook repeats, "that was the name of the guy who used to babysit me."
Namjoon blinks and peers at the photo album. And yeah, okay, now that he thinks about it he remembers one of the kids he used to watch might have been called Jungkook, but that kid was a scrawny little 8 year old with a snotty nose and chipped nail varnish that he used to apply himself. He wasn't a hunky, sharp jawed dude who was ever going to grow up to get jacked, with his big, kind bambi eyes--
The same eyes that stare back at him now.
Shit.
or
namjoon's a dysfunctional adult playing at being a successful producer who doesn't need people to know how bad he is at adulting. jungkook's the starstruck boy he used to babysit who's apparently used the past 7 years to get hot and become a functional member of society. unfortunately, to namjoon's dismay, they're neighbours. chaos follows
Bookmarked by confetticanon
27 Feb 2021
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
Feb 27 2021
"Yoongi-chi is right, these meals have vegetables in them. Do you know what that is, Joon-ah? Vegetables, they're what the flavouring in your instant noodle packs are vaguely based off."
" Vaguely." Yoongi echoed.